During the past 6 weeks I have spent 4 of them in the Tri-State & New England & 2 in Portland, OR. The insanity of the amount of stuff that has happened in such a small period of time while simultaneously trying to uproot ourselves and settle into a new city is overwhelming. From packing our Providence house, to kidney stones, to a loss of a job and a death in the family, no task has proved to be simple. All this leaving me with feelings of homesickness & confusion. While home, (essentially all of back East) I tried to make the most of the time. Traveling to every state I could to see friends and family. I made it a point to get to the beach, take the back roads or new roads. I created a mini bucket list to check off as I went. Here you can find a collection of my travels. http://www.photoshop.com/users/lyyli/albums/d266d94877b94bd185255b0ea19fb381

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I have learned to do a mental exchange. For every one thing I miss and love from back home (i.e. being a hope skip and a jump from the coast) I have allowed (key word)....allowed myself to embrace one positive thing here in exchange for one feeling of loss from back home.
Fighting homesickness is an everyday challenge and it will only get better if I embrace my surroundings and let go. Find some new favorites out here. I have already stumbled on four laces that embrace everything that I love. From veganism to mixology. Clyde Common, Bye and Bye, Sweet Hereafter, and The Public House. Not to mention endless yoga studios, perfect running weather and practically 0% humidity.
Just need to continue to exchange and embrace. I'm leaning to truly love it here and not just say it.
I head back to Providence in two weeks. It will be interesting to see how the place I used to call home feels to me.
.photo taken at Clyde Common. Ace Hotel - Stark Street.

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I was that girl grabbing each eraser from the bin at Blicks and taking a deep inhale. Every one has it's on memory with me. From one hour art class in elementary school to 48 hour final crushers in college.

The one sad thing I am noticing here is that nothing smells like home. The hot heavy air of the orange line, the smell of my condo when the sun beats through the front windows and heats up the old hardwood floors. This city and the building i am staying in are almost odorless. Which is kind of sad. Even my laundry detergent doesn't smell the same.

So that's when I find myself wandering the aisles of Blicks, looking for a sent. Anything to tie me to a memory from back home.

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On my first day with a chance of to get brief sun exposure in Portland I stumbled across this building. I instantly became attached and now each time I find myself walking by it, i just look up and stare until it is out of sight. The blend of the old w/ the new here is awe inspiring. Especially from someone who has a corporate real estate background and know how people will demolish a historic wall instead of preserving it because of cost savings. The Temple (or renaissance hotel in Providence, RI) is the only place I witnessed back in Lil'Rhody that had it's shell preserved and interior rebuilt. The idea and actuality of preservation and being green out here is astonishing. It's not even a second thought. It's almost a prerequisite for any project. How green can you make this one? I dare you to make it greener then the last....A big thumbs up, high five, fist bump for this place.I plan to eventually start posting favorite links on this page & green architects will definitely be one of them. .photo taken at NW Hoyt & NW 10th. Portland, OR.

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It's a cold, dreary day here. Definitely Spring getting in one last reminder of what it is before the first day of summer. I'm sitting in what I found to be my favorite spot in Portland after one week of exploring. I think this "place" (aka Portland) is me. Or what used to be some form of me that is being awaken again with the release of some New England anger & the acceptance that it is ok to slow down, not curse every other word, and just well...breath. I still have that tight tension between my two eyebrows that I am constantly trying to relax. Only to catch myself doing it again 30 seconds later. So here I am. No job. The years I have put into art school have diminished and I am left wandering around wondering what the hell and I going to do now. I have lost all my creative confidence in the corporate world. Can I get it back? If so, how?I find a park. I sit. I think. I find another park. I sit. I think. I go to yoga. I run. I eat a great meal I have a microbrew & repeat. Still nothing. I'm spiraling like a tornado in my head trying to suck up every thought and blend them all together to come up with one manifest of what I want to do. But for now. I will just sit here. Suck down my Stumblebee, update this blog, print my resume and scratch my head. And again....repeat..photo taken @ Tanner Springs Park. Portland, OR.

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It all begins with my "Point of View" or POV if you will. What exactly is it? Do I even have one anymore? Back East I was extremely opinionated and confident in my thoughts, career, beliefs. Now out here, out West...I have no clue. My mind tugs between thoughts that scream START OVER! While other thoughts are giggling at myself inside me saying, Give Up, Retreat, Stick to what you know.So here I am. Starting my 3rd blog in X amount of years. Seeing if I can make it past page 1 from Providence to Portland. Only time will tell which voices will win. Hopefully in the process I will discover my own voice. At 33, isn't it about time I do so?.photo taken at Vista House, overlooking The Gorge, oregon.

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